Too Many Deaths
How do you process multiple griefs?
In the spring of 2017, my husband’s brother-in-law was dying, and we became closely involved. Since then, 2 very close friends, both of my parents, my mother-in-law, and my brother have also passed away.
This has also involved dealing with a serious illness and 4 relocations. And then the Corona crisis has finally ruined my marriage.
It has been an intense time with naturally, understandably intense emotions.
But now it happens that I just feel the urge to cry and do nothing for hours, without understanding what it specifically is about. There is so much!
Answer
Dear you,
Thank you for your message and for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It takes courage and strength to open up and reach out. I am sorry that you have had to experience so much loss and adversity in such a short time, and I understand that it has been a time filled with intense emotions.
When you share your story, I can completely understand that you have the need to cry and do nothing. I want to ask if you give yourself the space to cry, or if you keep it inside?
I have also lost my mother and had periods where I needed to cry and just look out the window, giving space to the grief. But it took me some time before I allowed myself to cry thoroughly and express my feelings and grief. I wish I could tell you exactly how to process multiple griefs, but my experience tells me that it varies from person to person what can help and relieve. For me, it has been very helpful to talk to others and learn to put words to the grief and all the nuances and feelings that come with a loss. Maybe that could help you too?
You are very welcome to write to the Advice Column again or attend a Café Meeting. See below.
Best regards,
from one of the volunteers
If you need help now, you can call Tusaannga at 801180 or SMS to 1899.
Find other help here: https://aliasoqatit.gl/ikiortissanik-allanik-nassaarit/
See dates for Aliasoqatit cafe meetings about grief here: https://aliasoqatit.gl/nuummi-naapeqatigiissitsisarnerit/