My grandmother was killed, and the mother/father of my child also died.

It’s such that I have spent a lot of energy after my grandmother was killed, and I forgot about myself and haven’t worked on myself. Now I’m starting to feel the loss, where I even feel like calling her because I want to tell her that I have become a grandmother myself. I have days where I grieve, where I want to be alone, and don’t want to be around other people, and I question why she died in that way, but there’s nothing I can do.

After experiencing that, my child’s mother/father died the following year, and it was a shock to me, and there were a lot of questions; what should I tell my dear son, how should I explain it?


Dear You,

Thank you so much for your message. It takes courage to write to the advice column, so thank you for that.

It sounds like you have experienced several significant and sudden losses in your life. As you mentioned, it takes a lot of energy to navigate daily life while carrying grief. One never quite knows when grief will surface in everyday life – I often find it happens when you least expect it and have the least energy. I have also lost a parent suddenly and am still working on acknowledging that I need to make room for grief in my busy life. I sometimes feel the need to be around other people when grief overwhelms me, but I have also found it important to allow myself to be alone with my grief and remember those I have lost.

Regarding your son and how to answer his questions, I can understand that it seems like a difficult task. Aliasoqatit offers café evenings in Nuuk, where you can meet other people who have also experienced loss. For example, you could hear others’ experiences on how to answer the more challenging questions that may arise. At the café evenings, you can either just sit and listen or share your own thoughts and experiences about loss. You can read more about them here:

If you are unable to attend the café evenings in person, you can also write to Aliasoqatit’s chat service, where you can correspond with one of the other volunteers every Tuesday if you wish. You can read more about this on our website:

Once again, thank you for your message to the advice column, and I hope this has helped to generate some thoughts regarding your grief process. You are strong!

Best regards,