My friend is dead
My best friend committed suicide last month. I’ve never experienced losing someone before, so I’m really struggling to cope with my grief. She is all I think about throughout the day, and I feel like none of my closest ones can understand. I constantly feel a heavy weight in my body, and I can’t get my daily life back on track. I feel like I’ve become a bad friend and family member because grief consumes all of my days. I find it hard to do even the smallest things like eating or sleeping. I just want everything to pause. How do you get your daily life back when you feel like you don’t have the strength for it?
Answer
Dear you,
I am truly sorry to hear that your best friend has taken their own life, and my condolences to you. I know what it’s like to lose someone to suicide, and it is indescribably difficult and painful. I lost my little sister to suicide, and I went through a really tough time. I thought I would never be able to find happiness again. I was physically and mentally exhausted all day long for days, weeks, and months. Some days were easier, and some were harder. Back then, I didn’t know how I could move on with my life either.
The grieving process can be very different from person to person, so it’s very important to listen to yourself and figure out what you need. I felt very alone back then, even though I knew I wasn’t. Over time, I understood what I needed—to feel close to my little sister and to talk about everything like we used to. Afterward, I wrote many letters to her and read them aloud to myself. Some letters were just about how my day had been, others about what we had experienced together, and sometimes I simply wrote “hello.”
You should know that the grieving process you’re going through now is completely normal, and I can fully recognize and understand where you are right now. Again, my condolences.
If you live in Nuuk, Aliasoqatit’s volunteers will be hosting a café evening on August 21st from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM at Illorput. Every Tuesday, the grief chat is also open—here you can chat with a volunteer—and we have all experienced loss ourselves. You can read more about Aliasoqatit’s services here: https://aliasoqatit.gl/da/sorgstoette/
You are more than welcome to join and meet others who have also experienced loss, or you can send us another letter.
Many greetings,
The Aliasoqatit Volunteer Team