My Father Has Died

I was told that my father died on November 27th. I was picked up while I was at school, and my older sister/brother told me that my father had died. The next day, we had to travel to be with him. When we arrived, we went to see him, but I still can’t believe it’s my father. On December 1st, 2023, we had the funeral, and a few days later, we traveled back. I cry almost every night and still can’t believe it. How can I find the strength? I want to keep going to school, but I’m lacking the energy. What can I do? How can I express what I’m feeling?


Dear you,

I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. It sounds like it was a shocking experience and something you were not prepared for. It is very hard to lose someone unexpectedly, and for most people, it feels unreal and difficult to understand and believe. You lost your father only 1½ months ago, and it can be difficult to come to terms with such a loss for a long time. I think it was good that you and your siblings saw your father after he passed away. It can help with understanding the loss, even though it feels unbearable right now.

I have also lost my father, and I remember how, after the funeral, I became completely exhausted and at the same time had a hard time sleeping because I was so sad. This made it difficult for me to concentrate on my studies. Grief needs its place and time, but it was also important for me to have my school as a stable point in a chaotic time, so I went to school as much as I could manage. Fortunately, my sleep, energy, and overall well-being gradually improved.

You ask how you can express what you’re feeling. I imagine you have a chaos of thoughts and feelings that are difficult to handle and understand. We know that grief can feel lonely, and it can be a great support to share your thoughts and feelings with others. It can also help with understanding if you can put words to your feelings. It is wonderful that you have your older siblings, and I hope you can talk to them.

It is also good that you wrote to us at the Aliasoqatit Grief Advice Column, where those of us who respond have personal experiences with loss and can understand you. You are always welcome to write to us again.

I don’t know how old you are, but if you are over 13 years old, you can participate in an online grief café, where you can meet and listen to other bereaved people, and if you want, talk about your own experiences with losing your father. The next online café is on January 17th, 2024 at 19:00 and is about grief and friendships.

You can read more about Aliasoqatit’s offerings here: and see the list of upcoming café evenings here:

Best regards and thoughts,