Becoming an Orphan at a Young Age

My father died of a heart attack in ’23, and since my mother died of cancer in ’18, I have now lost both of my parents.

Since I lost them, I have tried to help myself, my family, my employer, and I have tried clairvoyance and therapy to let go. But I never thought about focusing on myself, and I think I have focused too much on the grief and not on myself, even though I have been “working to fix” my grief.

It feels like there are limits to loving myself, and it is even far to give love to others.

I don’t want to hurt my partner and my children. Is this something others recognize? What can I do?


Dear you,

Thank you for your letter.

First, I want to acknowledge you for writing in, and I am sorry to hear that you have lost both of your parents.

I remember putting myself in the background after losing my stepfather. Grieving is hard, and the thoughts fill your mind, making it difficult to let go.

I also recognize the feeling of not wanting to hurt your partner and children, as you take their feelings into account. I believe it would be good for the children to talk about your parents, as it will also become easier for all of you when you share good memories.

In my own experience, it has been beneficial to talk to someone outside of my family and colleagues.

If you need to talk about your grief and what you have been through, and if you have the opportunity to attend a grief café evening or a grief chat, where you can meet or chat with others who are also grieving, I recommend that you try it.

You can find Aliasoqatit’s offerings and dates here:

I wish you and your family all the best.

Many regards,