My Father Died Yesterday

Today, I received a message that my father died yesterday. We haven’t talked for a long time because I couldn’t forgive him for hitting my mother and completely destroying my brother’s trust in other people. Even though I can’t forgive, even though I’m angry, I am sad. He wasn’t a good father, or always a good person, rarely. But I am afraid he was in pain, that he was scared. I’m angry at myself; I would have liked to have been there, even though I can’t say “I love you.” I know I carry a grief that does not belong to my father, but to the man I wish he had been.


Dear You,

Thank you for your message – and for reaching out to us.

I want to start by saying that I am sorry your father has died. I understand that you are sad, even though you haven’t spoken for a long time. I also understand that you can’t forgive him for hitting your mother and destroying your brother’s trust in the world.

When someone dies, we can no longer talk to them, ask them to explain their actions, or tell them why they hurt us. We can’t tell them that we are angry with them or that we love them. In grief, we are filled with many emotions, such as longing, love, anger, and helplessness. Since I lost my husband eight years ago, I have felt many emotions, and it has taken time to learn to live with them; in addition to missing him, I have also been angry with him for leaving us.

Grief can be a lonely place, and it has been a great support for me to talk to others who have experienced loss. Therefore, I am glad that you wrote to us.

If you would like to talk more about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing, you are very welcome to write again. We are here to help you.

Many warm regards

from one of the volunteers

If you need help now, you can call Tusaannga at 801180 or SMS to 1899.

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See dates for Aliasoqatit cafe meetings about grief here: